October 29, 2020

–From The How Did We Get Here Series–

Now: A very confused church pastor is standing at the church podium with a red handprint on his cheek and an angry wife standing in front of him.

Before: It was a beautiful spring day. A perfect morning for a nice country church service. During the pause in the service where the offering is being collected, Gladys Johnson turns to her friend Sarah Whitley and whispers “Poor Daniel Baker was up late last night looking for Dorothy’s pearl necklace. It seems she dropped it down the garbage disposal while cleaning up the evening dishes.” Arthur Harrington had a few hearing problems but knew what he just heard Gladys whispering. Daniel Baker gave Dorothy a pearl necklace and she treated him like garbage. Arthurs wife asked what he had just heard and he gave her his version. Rita asked Arthur’s wife what she heard and she passed on her version which was that Daniel makes his wife take his “pearl necklace” while he treats her like garbage. Dorothy was sitting next to Rita and heard the exchange.

Without missing a beat, she gets up while her husband is preparing to deliver his sermon and stands in front of him mortified. She slaps him in the face and says “How dare you tell people about our private sex life!”