–From The How Did We Get Here Series–
Now: It was at the bottom of the 5th inning when Cletus Johnson looked up at the big display in the ballpark. In bright blue letters it read, “For a good time, call Cletus “Dingleberry” Johnson. He always gives you a little extra.” In traditional ballpark fashion, the ad was quickly replaced with a live shot of Cletus and a look on his face that would eventually become a meme.
Before: Angela Johnson had been married to Cletus for nearly five years. He was a good man. He was kind. He loved her deeply and as far as she knew, he was absolutely faithful. What she was having a problem with was her husband’s dingleberries. It was one of those things that you see and then can never get out of your mind. She first saw them a couple of weeks ago and they haven’t had sex since.
She tried to tell him about it. Tried. It was extremely difficult to come up with a way to broach the subject. “Hey, honey. I’d like to talk to you about your dingleberry problem.” Angela and Cletus didn’t have that kind of relationship. Certain things were never discussed.
It was Angela’s friend Kerry that had come up with a novel idea. Cletus loved to go to baseball games. It was something that she and Cletus did not do together. She hated sports.
